In my younger years, I lived with a quiet but persistent sense of inadequacy.

I disliked how I looked.

I believed I was unlovable.

I often felt out of place in gatherings — present, yet somehow apart.

There was a constant feeling of being flawed, of not quite being “enough.”

Looking back now, I understand that what I was experiencing was shame.

Shame is something most of us encounter at different points in life. But when it becomes constant — when it shapes how we see ourselves — it can quietly erode our sense of well-being. It can influence how we relate to others, how we move through the world, and how we feel within ourselves.

For me, shame was often stirred by moments of perceived judgment, criticism, or rejection. Sometimes it came from present experiences; other times, from echoes of earlier ones. I believe shame has played an important part in my episodes of depression, shaping how I felt about myself and the world around me.

Over time, I found myself gently exploring perspectives that helped me understand — and slowly loosen — shame’s grip.

Recognizing Shame

Becoming aware of those inner narratives — the subtle thoughts suggesting I was broken, defective, or “less than.” Simply noticing them created space.

Understanding Its Roots

Reflecting on where those feelings may have taken shape — early experiences, relationships, environments that influenced my self-perception.

Processing and Feeling It

I’ve found that before shame could soften, I first had to allow myself to feel it — as uncomfortable as that was — and to sit with it rather than immediately push it away. At times, this meant staying with difficult feelings: sometimes journaling, sometimes simply noticing what was happening inside me.

Speaking the Unspoken

Sharing parts of my story in safe spaces. What I feared would bring rejection often brought understanding instead. There is something quietly healing about being met with compassion.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Learning, slowly, to offer myself the same kindness I would naturally extend to someone I care about.

Reconnecting with Self-Worth

Gently questioning long-held beliefs about not being “good enough,” and exploring activities and experiences that nurtured a sense of confidence and wholeness.

Final Reflection

Shame can be a deeply human and deeply painful emotion. Yet I’ve come to believe that it does not have to define us.

And when its weight feels too heavy to carry alone, reaching out for support — whether through conversation, reflection, or therapy — can be an act of courage and self-care.