In my recent blog post, Toxic Habits that We Are Unaware of, I mentioned one of the ways to stop being a people-pleaser is to practice saying no. I know it’s difficult to say no without feeling bad about it. We might worry that by saying no, we won’t be liked or will be perceived as uncaring and unhelpful.
So, here are some tips on how to practice saying no without feeling bad.
Give yourself time to respond.
Sometimes, when you’re inclined to say yes, it’s important that you give yourself time to run through a few questions before responding. Listed below are some examples of the questions to ask yourself.
- How much time and energy are required?
- Do I have the time and energy to do this?
- What is my intention for saying yes?
- Am I saying yes because I want to please someone?
- Am I saying yes because I don’t want to be left out?
Resist the urge to give excuses.
We tend to come up with excuses to justify why we must decline because of the guilt we fear. But we’re allowed to say no without making excuses. Instead of giving excuses, learn how to say no politely and effectively.
Give a brief explanation – if you want to.
Even though “No” can be a complete sentence, you can give a brief explanation if you want to.
Accept that others will be disappointed.
Don’t let the fear of disappointing others holds you back from saying no. Accept that you are bound to disappoint someone when you stop being a people-pleaser.
Keep Your Stance.
When encountering people who won’t take no for an answer, stay firm and know the reasons why you decline. Keep no as your final answer.
Final Thoughts
It isn’t easy to say no, and it can be exhausting and stressful if you always say yes to please someone. It can also have a negative effect on your well-being. But it can be done. It is the same as other skills, it gets easier with practice.
It is never easy to say No especially when it is someone you love and care.
There are self care strategies in your previous Blog can apply in this situation too.?
Like your Original drawing
Thanks!