I was born into a large and poor family. When I was eight years old, my father passed away and my mother became the mainstay of the family. She had to spend a large amount of her time, effort, and resourcefulness to bring in income to feed and clothe us. She hardly had time to support our emotional needs.
I am the youngest of 10 children. People always say that the youngest child is the baby of the family and is the most spoiled. But for me, being the youngest is the hardest part of all children.
As the youngest, my role in the family was just to obey and listen; my opinions were not valued.
Because of the huge age difference, I cannot share my feelings with my older siblings. To make matter worse, my sister who is closest in age to me always commented on my appearance. I grew up with no one to provide affection or emotional support.
For years, I blamed my low self-esteem and depression on my upbringing and having been rejected by my best friend as a child.
At some point, after being discharged from the hospital in 2014, I began to understand my upbringing and childhood experiences could be blamed for that, but it was now my own responsibility to overcome my low esteem. With this approach, I not only improve my self-esteem, but I also get to improve other areas of my life.
Tips on Overcoming Low Self-Esteem
Know that self-Esteem can be changed
Self-esteem is your own perception of yourself. Though it might be affected by others and not easy to change, it’s your choice to decide if you want to change your self-esteem.
Accept responsibility
Self-Responsibility both reflects and generates self-esteem. When you take ownership and are accountable for your own life, you are more likely to take steps to improve your self-esteem.
Identify and change your negative self-talk
For people with low self-esteem, their inner voice consists of negative thoughts and beliefs that encourage self-defeating behavior.
However, you can take power over your inner voice by consciously asking yourself if your thoughts and beliefs are consistent with facts or logic. Understand that it takes time to change a long-held belief about a fact or logic.
Accept and be proud of who you are
Remind yourself everyone has flaws. Work on the flaws that you can change and accept those that you can’t and be proud of who you are.
Allow yourself to make mistakes
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. See mistakes as growth opportunities. Take time to look at what led to this mistake and try to see what you can learn from it.
Final Words
It takes time to go from low to good self-esteem so remember to take small steps and make small improvements over a period of time. Focus on the big picture, not the detail of how you felt at a particular moment.